Wisdom & Resources
Bev Nap Wisdom
Bev Nap #1
#1 BEV NAP WISDOM
Many is the time I sat with friends or colleagues; our beverages resting on the ubiquitous bev nap. Good conversation and a pen and the bev naps became our idea easel. This one was from the early days of COVID. In honor of the power of casual dialogue and good people, I offer you: Bev Nap Wisdom...
Bev Nap #2
I learned about the "Landscape Diagram" through the HSD (Human Systems Dynamic Institute - https://lnkd.in/gwckf8Fc). It is easy to draw on a bev nap - and a model with endless uses. Consider a personal or organizational diagnosis. Where on the model are the activities/opportunities/challenges across a day? What are the benefits of being in the lower left? What are the risks? How afraid am I of the upper right? Thinking back to status quo, where is it sitting on this diagram? Discover the wonders of "Self Organization". At a conference I created the model in a room and had participants walk to where they were on the model, and why, around a shared topic. Embodiment in action! Take a moment and draw it for yourself, get to know it, be ready to share it when next you have a bev nap!
Bev Nap #3
Weekly, as I work with a manufacturing client, an institute of higher education, a small non-profit, or planning with family or friends - Michael Porter's words ring true!
Bev Nap #4
The Johari Window; created by JOseph Luft and
HARRIngton Ingham to help us understand ourselves and our relationship with others. The insight and recognition that you knew things about me that I was unaware of, was powerful for me! And made for great conversation after a day of team-building at an off-site with co-workers. An oldie but a goodie!
Bev Nap #5
From Mack Munro's presentation yesterday during the Ohio SHRM Conference. Training classes should be short (think HOW TO in You Tube) and to the point. Development is about coaching and mentoring. Great presentation!
Bev Nap #6
Bev Nap #7
Bev Nap #8
There is lots of talk about how to attract and retain employees. Here is a simple and powerful insight from Peter Block's work "Civic Engagement and the Restoration of Community". Think just how shutdown you feel when someone took away your NO.
Bev Nap #9
When you speak with another, how "there" are you with them? Think of it as "thou-ing" them or "it-ing them". Are they a subject or an object to you? Not looking for judgment here - just increasing awareness. When you interact with colleagues - are you both on script (it-ing each other): Hi - how are you? Fine, you? Or are you "seeing" them (thou-ing them) and available for a unique/off-script engagement? Which choice supports each of your needs in the engagement? What if you only want script - and the other person wants to go off script? (From the work of Martin Buber)
Bev Nap #10
I did Peace Corps service in South Africa and learned that many of the native greetings translate to I SEE YOU - and it is the "seeing" of another 3-D person with challenges and joys. Remember Martin Buber? "Seeing" is "THOU-ing" another.
Over the weekend, I was volunteering in street fair set up, early on a cold, dark morning. Vendors were stressed, tired, cranky, and cold - I engaged with them and helped them get oriented and in place. I saw them.
In Zulu: Sawu Bona. I See You.
Bev Nap #11
Bev Nap #12
Bev Nap #14
It is autumn and plants are going to seed. As I wander outdoors my clothing collects seeds.
The plants have successfully transferred their dna onward!
I am recognizing that BEV NAP WISDOM is a way for me, without a marketing campaign or sales people, to transfer some of my business/ contemplative/coaching/OD dna onwards.
Are you familiar with BIOMIMICRY; Using nature to solve a human challenge?
Give it a try when you run into your next bump in the road.
WHND?
What has Nature done?
Bev Nap #15
Back in the day, I did a lot of hitchhiking in the US, Europe and South Africa. With each car that neared me and then didn't stop, I suffered. I wondered what I could do (praying hands, begging hands, looking harmless, etc.) to make them stop. When I released the attachment of getting the next ride in the next car, when I was in the moment, on the side of the road, the stopping of a car became a next step. I was fluent in the moment and ready for what was next. (Check out Cy Wakeman - https://lnkd.in/gjZzHjTP) We are going forward. Always. Change is occurring. Always. Next time you are suffering - ask yourself, what are you attached to?
And on your next bev nap write this to help remember it:
Attachment creates suffering.
Bev Nap #16
I first heard this quote during my gestalt coaching program at the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland. I was attracted to a simple message about how to change people - and when I realized I was the one that needed to change - I laughed aloud!
I have so many stories about who and how and why and where YOU and THEY are...and I can change my story about you and them and you will magically change for me!
One of the cool things about this little bit of wisdom is that you can aim it at yourself, too!
As a Resorceress, I predict you will enjoy playing with this insight!
Let me know if it creates any magic, for you!
Bev Nap #18
Until last week, I wasn't familiar with the "H" now on VUCA. The VUCA world of volatility, uncertainty, complexity, and ambiguity has been augmented with HYPERCONNECTIVITY! From a Dec. 2019 Mercer publication: "We are permanently hyper-connected and losing control on what we want to see, hear, answer.... This hyper-connectivity is challenging people and organizations, putting them under tremendous pressure in terms of time management, focus, concentration, and prioritization." What does it look like to live successfully in a VUCAH world? I am discovering that my BEV NAPs often offer up some wisdom around that very question, and is probably why I keep them in-front of me and will be adding # 19, momentarily.
Bev Nap #25
Tendayi Viki's WBECS session about leading innovation just ended and it was excellent. He spoke of assessing the quality of your evidence when you consider your ideas. Holding this quote up in my mirror -
My "SAY" evidence is my lazy evidence, engages my biases beautifully, and is fast and easy.
My "DO" evidence doesn't feel like innovation since it isn't lightning-strike fast and sexy, but it is stronger and more meaningful. And, isn't that interesting????? To learn more about Tendayi's work - this links to Strategyzer, where he is a partner. They have some great free resources. https://lnkd.in/dGn_4gW6
Bev Nap #30
This bit of bev nap wisdom recognizes the power of the question "WHY", and provides alternatives - depending upon your objective. In the next 24 hours, pay attention to how you feel when a "why" lands on you, or what calls you to use a "why" towards someone else. "Why" creates a stance of defensiveness or doubt within whomsoever receives it, and may make the asker feel a bit superior. A "why" landed on me recently. I arrived late having severely underestimating my drive time. I was asked, "Why did you leave at that time,?", rubbing my face in my series of errors and strengthening my defensiveness to their superior departure time skills. I confess, I sometimes select the use of "why" to start my own questions to another, and realize it is when I am feeling snarky! Spend a moment rephrasing your question to start without a "why" and then ask, "how does that make me feel?"
Bev Nap #34
Mark Twain said, " The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug," and that insight has played out for me with CAUSAL and CASUAL. I had done a field biology program in Tanzania (Jambo, Jambo - Habari gani all you Swahili speakers!) - and was writing up a paper on hyenas. The academic books and scholarly articles repeatedly used "causal" and I regularly read it as "casual" - and to this day - I picture hyenas in the Serengeti, wearing sunglasses, smoking cigarettes and shooting pool with their pack. And Twain and the hyena scholars help me recognize the risk and creative opportunity when I take in information. Have I really read or heard what was being communicated? How much assumption has influenced my response or reaction? And of course, in moments of casual reflection, what was the causal basis for this behavior? (Picture me with Wild Turkey, a pool cue, and a bev nap - thinking of you and documenting some wisdom!)
Bev Nap #35
In my 30's, I was a coach for a local high school girls volleyball team. After away games we would inevitably stop for fast food after the match. Looking around as they ate, I recognized the hunched over silhouettes of predators devouring their prey. Fellow coach Deb Licht and I started calling out, "Posture Minute" and, with no explanation - the whole team (and others in the restaurant!) would sit back and straighten up and then continue their eating in a less voracious fashion. And the energy of the post-game experience would shift. There would be laughter at awareness of the hunched postures. There would be an opening to those around us. There would be positive energy as we re-entered civilization! And now, sitting at my desk everyday, working from my home - I am calling "Posture Minute" to myself, yet again. Being conscious of how I am, helps me be present as I am. My energy changes. I think back to whole restaurants sitting up straight. Everyone gets it. So - invite posture minutes into your day; during meetings, on Zoom calls, at dinner with your family. Change the energy! Open yourself to the moment! POSTURE MINUTE! (You sat up, didn't you????)
Bev Nap #57
Paul T. Nelson died on Sunday.
Knowing him as friend, mentor, teacher, experimenter, leader, colleague, follower, learner, roller-blader, volleyball player, Peace Corps Volunteer and person who demonstrated to the high school volleyball team I coached, including his daughter, just how his pitching skills hadn't diminished at the carnival where I was sitting in the dunk tank - Paul did not die at 25 or 55 or 75.
His breadth of curiosity, his insight, his compassion; his humanity all fed his continued living.
What a human!
I cherish Paul being in my life - LIVING his.
Bev Nap #62
Who knew?
There is both a National (in the US - August 15th) and an International Failures Day (October 13th); days established to celebrate failure! Students in Finland created the first "Failures Day" from a perceived national risk aversion that limited innovation. Businesses desire the benefits and rewards of innovation while abhorring, fearing, and punishing failures. Teams try new ways of training, new formations, new equipment, new personnel - failures still occur as do learnings. Consider the phrase, "Those who fail to learn from history are condemned to repeat it." Studying Greek and Roman plays, you will find this century's foibles playing out over 2000 years ago! So on this Failures Day - celebrate with a pause when things go awry in little or large ways. Reflect upon what occurred. It is history in action! Happy National Failures Day!
Start planning now for the International Failures Day in mid-October!
Bev Nap #63
How often do you start a sentence, "Oh, I thought it was...." or, "Oh, I assumed..."? I spoke with my coach Eddie over the weekend about assumptions. Are there "to-do's" to limit my assumptions? How could I examine my beliefs an limit being surprised/blind-sided/embarrassed/perhaps harmed when I discover my beliefs are misinformed or not accurate? Picture the ubiquitous iceberg model showing what is above (less ice) and what is below (more ice) the water line. The day-to-day use of our beliefs is above th water line and the foundation of those beliefs is below the water line, in the cold, dark region of things unexamined, things unconscious, things assumed. In my first year of college I had a job in the cafeteria of a large university. I remember suggesting, "I think we could..." - offering a potential work process improvement - assuming and believing I could improve things. The supervisor's response was, "Just do your work, you aren't paid to think." An unexamined belief may be a true fact, an opinion based upon a myriad of factors, something experienced and infused with personal meaning, or be totally erroneous or uninformed. At the school cafeteria, "I thought thinking by students was important at my university," and it seems my belief was in error. (There may be a snarky tone in this statement.) We may like/love/hold tightly to our unexamined beliefs and surround ourselves with them and base our life upon them - and we may be surprised, angry, hostile, or curious when we find out our assumptions were grounded in preference rather than fact. When others don't hold the same beliefs - we might also be surprised, angry, hostile, or curious. How can I be curious about my held and unexamined beliefs when I am not consciously aware of them? After all these years I still hold some emotion about that cafeteria worker - so let me get curious about something I am holding emotion about from year's ago. Let me ask a question; "Joanne, did the university believe there was an overall priority on valuing students' thinking"? This was my belief. My question, even years later, helps me see beyond my long-held belief that the cafeteria worker was wrong to answer me that way. I now have some unexpected compassion for her who believed, I am assuming (!), that the priority was using a proven process to feed lots of people safely and quickly. My question invited my brain into conscious consideration of both the factors above and below the water line of my iceberg. My advice to decrease your assumptions, ask your brain a question to change your beliefs from unexamined to examined. Let me know what happens. I believe (hope?) it will make a positive difference.
Bev Nap #65
"The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not "Eureka!" but "That's funny". - Isaac Asimov It is true in life, too. My "that's funny" moments often occur when something that was non-sensical to me, that was said or decided, or that I saw or assumed is re-"viewed" with new clarity and results in my experiencing that long sigh you have after a very rewarding stretch! My invitation to you; pause and enjoy your "That's funny" experiences - Celebrate them with a stretch and a sigh!
Bev Nap #66
How often have you used the phrase, "I'll be happy when..." adding some line in the sand that must be crossed before you reach, HAPPY? The next question is how often have you crossed the line in the sand, and were you happy, or was there yet another line in the sand, beyond the first? Arthur C. Brooks (you may be aware of him as the professor teaching happiness at Harvard) and Oprah Winfrey (who needs no introduction!) have a new book (The Art and Science of Getting Happier - Build the Life You Want, Portfolio-Penguin, 2023). I am sharing some of my insights from the book. Brooks and Winfrey write that happiness has three components:
- Enjoyment: Don't settle for pleasure, add communion and consciousness. For example, a great meal is a pleasure, add good company and meaningful engagement and you have enjoyment.
- Satisfaction: Brooks and Winfrey modify the immortal words of Jagger and Richards, "I Can't Keep No, Satisfaction". Satisfaction is fleeting. When you strive and work and accomplish and complete - it is wonderful. Enjoy your satisfaction in the moment because it will soon melt away.
- Purpose: Enjoyment and satisfaction are OK in the moment. Without purpose, a sense of meaning, the authors say, "...we are utterly lost." We need a "why" in life. There may be pain and confusion and difficulty and living with purpose enables us to face it with hope and inner peace. Getting "happier" involves combining and balancing these three parts. The authors indicate, we won't ever REACH happiness. Instead, we will repeatedly mix a changing cocktail of these three components as we follow the direction of our lives.
Bev Nap #67
Sometimes, I just don't want to participate, act, engage when asked, or do. I don't say ,"I don't want to" because I am concerned I might hurt someone or because I don't want to announce my disinterest and so I cover it with the illusion of another commitment. Yet, 2500 years ago, they already knew that saying "I don't have time" is another way of saying "I don't want to." Who exactly is benefitting when I say "I don't have time?" Am I in a cosmic theatre production where we all know the script - and we stick with it? Now, I'd like to write more, but.....I don't have time!
Bev Nap #68
My reward is coming so I will stay here ...
They are really a good person, they just are that way because of ...
I will do that when.... Check out Traci's article on LinkedIn for more insight https://lnkd.in/grPX2wNB
Bev Nap #69
Are you cushioning yourself from failure? When you do something and it doesn't work out, do you find yourself stating (silently or aloud), it is someone else's fault, I didn't know..., I couldn't do..., someone "MADE" me? I offer you my insight, with the words of coach John Wooden and social scientist Carol Dweck in mind; when it is all someone else's fault, where I didn't know and couldn't do, or where someone or something else "MADE" me, I can pause and stop "getting my blame on". In the coming week, join me in noticing notice when you get your blame on and consider the alternatives. Don't deny that mistake, don't cover up that failure. Step into it. open your eyes - and get your learning and insight on! Don't forget...October 13th is International Failure Day. A day dedicated to the importance of taking risks, accepting that outcomes are uncertain, and opening ourselves to learning from the experience. And that doesn't sound too bad, at all.
Bev Nap #70
Maybe you needed to see this four-square model today, too. The joy of learning and experiencing leading to MASTERY.
The freedom and release of LETTING GO.
Stepping away from ceaseless striving and giving up. And both mastery and letting go come after a pause and a choice. Use this bev nap as your pause and then make a choice. (I sat up straighter, my shoulders dropped, I released my held breath...AHHH!)
Media
Joanne Lakomski and the Nonprofit Academy Live. One hour webinar on total compensation for non-profits.
Ted Talk – Houston.
Go ahead – take the 20 minutes needed to watch this. Funny and powerful – changed my life!
